Bidding ‘Adieu’ to the departed

People we love and care about one day die and pass away

We must grieve, we cry if we must, we re-live their memories in our minds

Then we bury them in some corner of our hearts

And hope that when the sun rises in the morning

In this age or another, some of the gloom will fade away

Sometimes it does, at other times, the dark clouds linger for a while

But they eventually go away and all that is left (from our side) 

Are the memories and monuments within our hearts that we built for them

So make sure to build those monuments while they are still alive

One act of genuineness, of kindness and of graciousness at a time

Before it becomes too late and all you have left to build with are tears and sorrow



Living … in a Nutshell

Stephanie ...don't doubt it.

LIVE, for without life, nothing matters. That’s why you take good care of your health.

LEARN, for that’s how you gain the knowledge and skills that enable you to exercise the divine within you by creating things. That’s why you feed and take care of your mind.

LOVE, for nothing created without love can be truly divine and life isn’t worth living without love and the divine. That’s why  you remain steadfast through pain and darkness in building relationships and exercising your heart.

DIE, for a sad as it is, it is what makes life precious (it will come, don’t rush for it)

Leave a LEGACY, for that’s the only way to conquer death, and that’s why you listen to your conscience and reach out to the world with LOVE

And DEATH may well be a break between one life well lived (loving, learning and leaving a legacy) and another life of PEACE and GLORY. Even if death is the end, a life of loving, learning and living a legacy is ENOUGH!

The NEW has GONE, the OLD has COME – The Transformation

I stand at a threshold in my life, one I know so many other people have stood at – looking back at 3 decades of life (thanks to all that have been there, even the obnoxious ones) and looking forward with my physical eyes to at least another 5  decades (Insha Allah) and with my spirit, to an eternity.

The cracks of degradation of my physical body are beginning to show (I can no longer work for 48 hours without sleep) and rather than cling to the vanishing sands of my past and youth, I must now make the decision to either embrace the winds of the future, or languish in fires of regrets of what could have been in the house of yesterday. A transformation is going on …whether I choose to accept it or not. I make the choice to accept it and intentionally make what ever adaptations I must make in other that this transformation be one that will bring me and those around me more peace, more love and more fulfillment.

Part of that transformation will be to give up the ‘glory’ of youth for that of old men, and to do this I must transform or let be transformed :

  • Youthful strength into strength of character.
  • Reliance on my intellect into knowing by intuition and awareness.
  • Desires to make myself better into a yearning to serve others and make another life better.
  • The need to take into a desire to share and give.
  • Independence in for interdependence.

I know it is a journey and it won’t be easy, but it is a journey I must make – one I have chosen to make because I KNOW that it is one filled with reward … I cannot lose and there is ultimately only happiness and peace on that path.

Thus, as I thread this path of light, I pray that a life of discipline, of learning, of service, and of contribution will bear the fruits some of which I have always desired but never had: Patience | Selflessness | Spontaneity | Presence | Silence | Oneness with God.

This I wish myself, every moment …and I wish it to you too.

Beginnings Are Hard – Thread Softly

I have been thinking of starting a blog for somewhile, I have contemplated the topic, the content etc and just when I decide its going to be about Self Mastery – on the day I signed up at, I get the news that an uncle in Cameroon just died.

Death! Ah death – that which puts so much fear in the heart of man, that which brings so much pain and so I start my blog with a personal reflection on death. First of all the death of a loved one is always a painful experience. Somehow you can’t bring yourself to think that ‘I won’t see him, talk to him share the pleasure of his/her companionship anymore’. I have come to believe that when two people have a good relationship between them – they become interwoven into each other’s beings, souls or spirits. So when a loved one dies, part of you really dies with them – all the emotional investment in that person, all the support (physical, emotional and spiritual) seems in that moment to have gone in smoke.

I am an African – from Cameroon to be specific and it has always amazed me how the west seemingly trivializes death in its popular media. But it got me thinking, ‘Why do we mourn so much?’ I now know that in most parts of Africa, especially amidst economic hardship, family bonds and attachment to loved ones are the only anchors to a happy, meaningful life. So when a loved one dies and more specifically when someone who is the breadwinner dies in a family, we mourn, not only for the loss of a friend, a brother, a sister, an uncle or a parent, but we also mourn for the loss of the source of livelihood, we mourn for the loss of he/she that feeds us, clothes us and pays our school fees. Selfish? I don’t have any opinion on that but that feeling of fear of uncertainty (something I believe Self Mastery in pursuit of Excellence can help us with) is really dreadful and here has so many components than I can tell anyone who has never experienced it.

Going back to my loss, let me try and put it in perspective – I mourn that I have lost an uncle, but beyond that, I am very closely attached to my cousin – Carine (the late uncle’s daughter), so I also feel her pain – at this moment, my pain is more as a result of her than anything else. I feel for six children who no longer have a father – the sole bread earner in the family. I feel for a woman who will experience what it means to be an unemployed widow with at least three more children to put through school and feed and clothe all by herself without any form of formal social security. All these almost cripple me but writing this helps – I can bring it out and perhaps deal better with it.

Yet despite my sad beginings, I believe that the Search for Excellence & Perfection must continue, everyone must in order to become immune to the pains to this world discover who s/he is, what they believe in and come to grips with death, poverty, injustice, hate, racism and all the other things by which we cripple our lives. Next blog, I hope to delve deeper into a description of my own quest for meaningpurposeexcellenceperfection.
Tamon M.A